I AM EMOTIONAL IN THE END.

After working for 10 days straight with very minimal rest, I am finally home. As I sit here and share with you all the storm I had gone through last week, I realize how grateful I am of it all. Exhausted, nevertheless, grateful for all the effort and passion I poured into work for those 10 days.

In celebration of the fiery passion that’s still burning in me, I’d like to share a portrait session I curated a couple years ago. I used my younger sister as my subject. I just thought I’d share it as these were the times when my passion for photography was at its peak! Crazy how some things turn out to change so drastically in time.

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An Honest Post About How I Really Feel

I’ve been jumping from one draft to another finding the perfect photos to accompany the perfect words, and I guess you can say that I still messed up on this one. I haven’t been able to write anything “good” for months and I just realized why it has been that way – I am completely and utterly consumed. I’m distracted, overwhelmed, and outright exhausted. I’m consumed with life and work. I’m distracted by jumbled thoughts and unbaked plans that are constantly being made up, one after the other. I am overwhelmed with feeling of fear, worry, and excitement. To feel all these emotions all at once baffles me. It’s a strange sensation.

My photography started off as my own little hobby I was obsessed with. It didn’t have to be perfect, it didn’t have to follow rules, it didn’t have to be anything else other than what I wanted it to be. It just had to be mine and knowing it was mine was what I loved.

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I try my best to approach each post I publish with structure, direction and a hint of emotion because, well, it’s me. 2017 has been a whirlwind and it seems that there are no signs of slowing down. I’m thankful for it, don’t get me wrong! But it feels like I’ve just started, and already, things are… like this.

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All I hope for is that things start looking up from here. Rather, my spirit and energy gets a positive punch into them.

 

Photos by Gio Lo

Purpose: Today’s Life Changing Plans for the Future

Well hello again, dear reader! my, has it been months since I last voiced out opinions. It’s been a whirlwind of events and emotions have been spiraling out of hand. To sum it up, things have been crazy. Life has been throwing tomatoes at me left and right, and here I am dodging my way past each one. I’m thankful though, to be given numerous opportunities in work, in my career, and just life in general.

Now for the good part! I’ve decided to share with you all new decisions and changes that are currently being made in my life as of the moment. I woke up on the morning of my birthday a few days ago realizing how awful Mother Earth has been treated and how fast she is dying – she is nearing her end and it’s crazy scary! Studies have shown that approximately by 2050 there will not be any more ocean left to swim in due to the vast amount of plastic we humans have thrown in it! And it’s all because of our irresponsibility. Just.. crazy. I decided that morning that I am going to make a change, one that’ll influence those around me to help out and save this planet from humans.

Get rid of plastic! Nowadays, almost everything is made with, made in, or made of plastic. Not enough consumers are aware of the drastic implications plastic has on nature. The smallest steps lead to great changes, believe me! You can start by bringing around a water tumbler instead of constantly buying new water bottles that you’ll end up throwing in the garbage anyway. Klean Kanteen and Keep Cup have some good choices! Another way to keep from plastic is to bring along with you metal straws as well as metal or wooden utensils. Numerous local online shops have been selling these items together organic and reusable casings. Go Zero, Sip PH, and Island Happy have some good choices.

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Think twice before you purchase. With the immediate satisfaction this generation craves leaves our world in such a tragic place. Like the fast pace of trends in fashion and retail or the impatience for deliverables of things that are convenient to us but harmful to the environment. Do you really need a new shirt? Maybe try recycling your old ones. Have them altered. Maybe try rummaging through your mom’s closet or better yet, shop in a thrift store. If you can’t handle the second hand stuff, do your research for the brands you’d like to order from. Know their workflow process – where do they get their materials? Is it organic? Is it fair-waged. Aim on finding local and sustainable brands!

Be mindful. The choices you make today can completely alter tomorrow’s outcome. A person makes and average of 14 lbs. of trash a day! Imagine the accumulated weight of trash you make in 5 years and multiply that by billions! The plastic and trash free choice you start and/or continue to make will have an incredible positive effect in the future. It’ll influence those close to you too!

I myself continue to make the choice of zero waste as much as I can. I bring water tumblers with me as much as I can as well as metal utensils so I don’t need to use plastic ones. I’ve also decided to give up film photography (or put it on pause for now at least). The chemicals that go into processing the film and simply the creation of the film is pretty toxic already! This deserves a separate blog post completely – although unnecessary – but that’s pretty much the gist of it all. It’s quite a big sacrifice that I’m making, to the point where it feels like a part of me has died. I guess we’ll just talk more about this soon.

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“Difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations.”

As someone who is slowly making the change, I’m not going to lie and tell you that I’ve been doing perfectly at it, ’cause I’m not. It’s been really difficult for me but I’m really pushing for a trash-free lifestyle. In spite of it all, I know things will be amazing in the end.

Are you going zero waste too? How are you doing it? Share with me your stories!

 

Photos by Gio Lo

Appreciate

A lot of times, we forget to notice the little things that take part in our day to day life. Have you ever realized how we take breathing for granted? It has become so involuntary that we forget it’s importance – life. I read this quote earlier this year and have sworn to live by it for the rest of my life:

Little is needed to live a happy life.

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My inborn affinity for nature has never faded and I doubt that it ever will. Being around it brings so much life into mine and I can never thank Mother Nature enough for it. I mean, just look at those colors the sky has to offer!

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This post is here to remind you to never stop appreciating the little things in life because they matter the most. Be humble. Be kind. Be reminded what brought you to where you are today.

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Photos taken with a Nikon D300 during 4:45PM – 5:00PM sunset.

A Lack of Prismatic Thoughts

I don’t recall  ever avoiding colors as a child, and I bet you don’t either. Our thoughts filled with the utmost brilliance of hues and tones that express all these emotions that leave you carefree at the end of each day. Yet the older we become, the harder it is to run the color-creating factory you have inside you. Envy, regret, and sadness introduce themselves as loving beings, yet strip you of every tone you have ever spewed out from your head. Brights are now a shade of charcoal, pastels are now a mushy gray, and you’re left asking yourself, “Why?”

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Olympus OM-1 | Kodak Colorplus 200

Life Would Be Dream

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“I desire to be locked in a quiet room, lying on a mattress, and reading this book. Perhaps even under one hour, preferably with you.”

I came across this quote whilst scrolling through my Twitter timeline an hour before I got off work the other day. I couldn’t help but want this desire; a thirst for this sense of peace. I guess the question now is, where do we find this “peace”? Is it out there? And if so, where? Is it reachable? Should I look for it or should I make it happen? These are questions that continue to resound in my head. I’ve been wondering for years and still left with nothing.

All I desire is happiness. I used to think that happiness was found in a place or sourced from another being – preferably someone with I’d have an emotional attachment with – but one day, without being struck by change, I realized that it was just a state. A state you can jump in and out of in which none of it is an obligation nor should is it a default substitution of emptiness when people question your emotional state. We all have different perceptions of happiness and how it resonates within us. Differing in effect for each and everyone of us. We shouldn’t try too hard to find happiness based on someone else’s experience on it. Nor should you, reader, pressure yourself into finding happiness when it has clearly left the building.

I guess the question now is, have found happiness?

Well, I think I might just have.

Olympus OM-1 | Kodak Colorplus 200